Who is the most important person in your life?
I recently asked my clients in our VIP group "Who is the most important person/people in your life?" This was by no means a trick question but I was curious to know how people think...
The biggest response was of course, their children and others coming in with husbands/wives/other halves and family ie mum, dad, sister etc.
Now none of these answers are wrong, and as I say it was a means to get into the mindset of how people think.
But I just want to share my opinion with you....
I hear very often, women putting themselves down, or putting themselves last, I mean come on, how many times have you said "I can't do that because the kids, or my hubby said I can't/shouldn't...."
In society, we are very quick to judge, it's part of human nature, it's not a bad thing, what we do with that judgement can of course have consequences. But we seem to find it easier to say to someone "I don't think that's a good idea" or "I don't think you should do that", why do we find it so difficult to say "Go for it!" Maybe it's because if we say that, and they do go for it and they fail, does that then become our fault? I don't know, I am just speculating here.
Anyway, going off on a wee tangent. The purpose of asking the question was because I wanted to find out who, if anyone, answered with "me". ie "I am the most important person in my life" because essentially we are no good to anyone else around us if we don't look after ourselves right? But there was only one person who commented with that answer, that person has kids of their own but understands the need to love themselves. If we keep putting ourselves on the back burner for everyone else, it can bring unhappiness, low confidence, low self esteem, social problems, anxiety, depression, all these things affect our mental health.
Mental Health affects so many people these days and I think we have fallen out of love with ourselves. We weren't born hating ourselves, our lives or our bodies. In fact one client said to me this morning her daughter aged 5 had said to her "mummy why don't you wear a bikini on holiday?" To which, mummy laughed about it and said "no chance". Kids don't think in the same way adults do, it's not natural to them to body shame people, they look up to us with love, not because what you look like but because you are the most inspiring person in their life. They don't see the body scars, the belly rolls or that you are wearing no make up. They see you from the inside, but we have forgotten what that feels like to look at ourselves in this way and if we try to do it we feel "stupid"
So how do we overcome this?
Find some time even ten minutes to be you. Within that time, find something that brings you peace to be at one with yourself. Think about the things in your life that you love, it could be something as simple as the smell of cut grass, or freshly baked bread, or a personal favourite of mine, the birds singing. Think about how it makes you feel, that solitude, that happiness. Think about other things in your life that you love, your family and friends, why you love them, your children, that YOU created, YOU brought them up to be the way they are, the struggles you have been through and how you have gotten through them. Think about something you have achieved in your life, it could literally be anything, got the job, got the house, managed to do something by yourself that you haven't done before, run a distance you've never run before, lifted a weight you've never lifted before, or even just taken the first step towards a healthier lifestyle by eating better or joined a gym. Take a moment to congratulate yourself on that achievement. YOU have achieved that and YOU are great for achieving that.
This might sound daft, and I dare say 99% of you won't actually do this, but what if you did... and what if it changed your mindset, what if you put YOU as the most important person in your life even for just that 10 minutes.... it changes the whole outlook on your day, on your conversations, on your relationships with friends and family.
You are far more important than you think you are and you should never be put to the bottom of the priority list and you are far greater than you give yourself credit for!
The biggest response was of course, their children and others coming in with husbands/wives/other halves and family ie mum, dad, sister etc.
Now none of these answers are wrong, and as I say it was a means to get into the mindset of how people think.
But I just want to share my opinion with you....
I hear very often, women putting themselves down, or putting themselves last, I mean come on, how many times have you said "I can't do that because the kids, or my hubby said I can't/shouldn't...."
In society, we are very quick to judge, it's part of human nature, it's not a bad thing, what we do with that judgement can of course have consequences. But we seem to find it easier to say to someone "I don't think that's a good idea" or "I don't think you should do that", why do we find it so difficult to say "Go for it!" Maybe it's because if we say that, and they do go for it and they fail, does that then become our fault? I don't know, I am just speculating here.
Anyway, going off on a wee tangent. The purpose of asking the question was because I wanted to find out who, if anyone, answered with "me". ie "I am the most important person in my life" because essentially we are no good to anyone else around us if we don't look after ourselves right? But there was only one person who commented with that answer, that person has kids of their own but understands the need to love themselves. If we keep putting ourselves on the back burner for everyone else, it can bring unhappiness, low confidence, low self esteem, social problems, anxiety, depression, all these things affect our mental health.
Mental Health affects so many people these days and I think we have fallen out of love with ourselves. We weren't born hating ourselves, our lives or our bodies. In fact one client said to me this morning her daughter aged 5 had said to her "mummy why don't you wear a bikini on holiday?" To which, mummy laughed about it and said "no chance". Kids don't think in the same way adults do, it's not natural to them to body shame people, they look up to us with love, not because what you look like but because you are the most inspiring person in their life. They don't see the body scars, the belly rolls or that you are wearing no make up. They see you from the inside, but we have forgotten what that feels like to look at ourselves in this way and if we try to do it we feel "stupid"
So how do we overcome this?
Find some time even ten minutes to be you. Within that time, find something that brings you peace to be at one with yourself. Think about the things in your life that you love, it could be something as simple as the smell of cut grass, or freshly baked bread, or a personal favourite of mine, the birds singing. Think about how it makes you feel, that solitude, that happiness. Think about other things in your life that you love, your family and friends, why you love them, your children, that YOU created, YOU brought them up to be the way they are, the struggles you have been through and how you have gotten through them. Think about something you have achieved in your life, it could literally be anything, got the job, got the house, managed to do something by yourself that you haven't done before, run a distance you've never run before, lifted a weight you've never lifted before, or even just taken the first step towards a healthier lifestyle by eating better or joined a gym. Take a moment to congratulate yourself on that achievement. YOU have achieved that and YOU are great for achieving that.
This might sound daft, and I dare say 99% of you won't actually do this, but what if you did... and what if it changed your mindset, what if you put YOU as the most important person in your life even for just that 10 minutes.... it changes the whole outlook on your day, on your conversations, on your relationships with friends and family.
You are far more important than you think you are and you should never be put to the bottom of the priority list and you are far greater than you give yourself credit for!
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